Affairs are a common occurrence today according to recent infidelity statistics. If those same statistics are to true extra-marital affairs is an issue that 68% of all married people will have to deal with during their marriage. If it comes up, you are going to have to respond in some way. The big question is how will you respond. The answer, hopefully in a way that doesn’t make an already bad situation worse. Here are some tips on how to respond to your spouse’s infidelity in a way that won’t inflame the situation further. Don’t Make Accusations Before You Have Proof Of Infidelity:
Our intuition can be wrong, just because you think he/she is cheating doesn’t mean they are. Lipstick on the collar or a phone number on a book of matches isn’t hard, cold evidence of wrong doing. Don’t jump to conclusions, start pointing fingers and destroying trust until you have done your homework. Nothing is more irritating nor does more damage than a spouse who is constantly questioning their partner’s faithfulness. Below are some signs to look for if you suspect your spouse is having an affair:
- A drastic change in their daily routine.
- Your spouse is working out all of a sudden and overly concerned about their appearance.
- Your spouse begins to dress differently, maybe wearing clothes that are not age appropriate.
- Your spouse is working more over – time or coming in from work later than is usual.
- You are seeing strange phone numbers on the phone bill.
- Your spouse is being secretive about cell phone calls.
- Your spouse has withdrawn emotionally and intimately.
- Your spouse is spending a lot of time on the computer.
- You are sensing a lot of anger toward things that normally would not bother your spouse.
If you have witnessed such changes in your spouse then it’s time to take a closer look and find out what the catalyst for the change is. I don’t advocate spying but, at times, it is the only way to get to the truth. So, be watchful of cell phone bills. Look for constant calls to a strange number. Check credit card receipts to see if there is excessive spending on items you are not aware of. The more red flags you find the more suspicious you should be. If your suspicions become great, then it is time to confront your spouse and ask what is going on.
By Cathy Meyer
Tomorrow: Talk To Your Spouse About Your Suspicions